June 5, 2012

2nd dates

I never really went on 'dates' in high school. I didn't really have boyfriends. I had one boyfriend in 7th grade. His name was (and still is) Dan. I told him that I loved him. We dated on and off for 6th months. Then he went to high school and left me in middle school, the night before school started he called to break up with me. I was crushed.

Then in high school there was Brice. We dated for a while during our senior year but we went to different schools. He broke up with me 2 weeks before the prom at my school. Again, I was crushed.

I didn't really date boys in college. Sure I had crushes, I dreamt about boys, but I didn't really date any.

The Mr and I started hanging out shortly after my 21st birthday, the fall of my junior year of college. I say hanging out because we weren't "offically" boyfriend and girlfriend yet. And we didn't really go on dates. The first time we went out was with my mom and her best friend for drinks. Then again with a big group of people over Thanksgiving break, then he went to the Christmas concert at my college with my family. Then over Christmas break he asked me to be his girlfriend. After that it was just kind of assumed that we would hang out together on the weekends when I didn't have class and he didn't have to work. But those times were usually watching a movie or making dinner. We never really made plans, we never really had that ackward blind date or ending of a date where you don't really know if you'll see each other again.

So, from that brief history you can see that I am not well versed at 2nd dates (or 1st dates for that matter).

I'm telling you this because to me, finding new friends feels a lot like dating. I've met people out and about. I've been out with groups before. But I never know how to "close the deal". I don't know how to get their phone numbers or to make plans to hang out again. It's like I'm nervous and I don't know if they want to hang out with me so I just don't ask because I don't want to look desperate.

But I am desperate!!

Is it this hard for everyone? How do you "close the deal" and get the 2nd friend date?

Love, Mrs. K

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